“Accidentally on purpose…”

the attention just encourages her..

Month: December, 2013

“Borderline? Borderline between what and what?!”

i had all this ranting and raving in my head.

don’t bring me down with your frustration over petty things. don’t blame me for things i can’t control that happen to annoy you. so many things. petty things.

it’s not the end of the world.

my new mantra to remind people when they are overreacting and to remind myself that dirty looks and snide remarks are not always aimed solely at me.

i take it all on you see, the guilt, the blame, the pity, the frustration. i take it all because i think i deserve it or i just don’t want anyone else to feel it.

what the real trouble is…my borderline personality knows no borders, the lines blur and time is an unending loop.

 

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resolve

 

i really don’t care, i’ve better things to do or i’ll find some

rules are meant to be broken so i’m starting it all early

i’m going to wear what i REALLY want, make new tattoos a priority

when everyone is talking and drinking, i will listen hard and drink harder

if i want to lose weight, i’m going to. too skinny doesn’t bother me

tired of feeling a lack of control, my lack of color is all i have sometimes

that all changes, i do what i want whenever i can until i have control again

it is all in my head any way, isn’t it sweetie?

so bored with the world being ashamed of their body, mind, wardrobe…

it is just so low, so old, so trite. live, don’t waste away in self hate.

i can never make up my mind, i’m oh so sensitive,

i’m vain and ugly and fat all at the same time.

that is just a slice of my life, of who i am.

i am weary of trying so hard to impress. i’m retiring from this job,

a lifelong career of desiring to gain approval.

my pension is my freedom.

i’m starting early because i’m done doing what i’m told.