“Everything that occurs out of necessity, everything expected, repeated day in and day out is mute. Only chance can speak to us. We read its message much as gypsies read the images made by coffee grounds at the bottom of the cup.”

by kaleidegirl

I am discontent. Pretty much just going through the motions of life. I realized recently that my general will to live and care about things comes and goes, more so the latter. It hasn’t become a problem near as i can tell, or do I just not care…maybe just resigned myself to the fact that I’ve little say in what I am allowed to do or not do. It is weird because just a few weeks ago I was determined to stand up for myself and do what I want, you know, like an adult. meh. I’ve always known that hoping for what you want and being told no is harder to deal with than just not hoping at all, knowing that “No” is coming.

I wasn’t far from the scale this morning so I thought I would see how my messed up knee has affected my weight. Oddly I have lost 5 lbs in 12 days.Who loses weight sitting on the couch with a laptop for several days?? Just imagine what i will accomplish when I start putting this thing away by noon each day and keeping it put away. Speaking of my knee, it has improved a bit so I’m cancelling my emergency appt scheduled for tomorrow. No way there or home anyway so…meh.

Chris and i were pretty sure I had a hearing problem and last week he finally said i needed to get it checked out. I went yesterday for my hearing test. He said it was the best test he’d seen in a year. I have the hearing of a teenager, almost perfect. It was funny because upstairs from the office a band started practicing and I kept getting distracted by it during the test and still aced it. Now we have no idea why I have these hearing issues.

Siobhan is still afraid of us but is doing very well with her potty training. Once she warms up to us we can get the part where she tells us she needs to go taken care of but for now she goes when we put her out and if she needs to in between she seems to stay on the training pads. I like her. Under that timidness I can tell she is very sweet and fun and friendly. Well it would be nice if she would stop taking my slippers, especially when I’m still wearing them.

I suppose I better take care of the important stuff.