i’m trying to remember what i was going to blog about….
for years i have used a very specific metaphor to describe what it felt like the moment just after i discovered my husband, my cureboy, was single and already knowing my relationship was over i just hadn’t told my fiance yet.
in that moment it felt as if my life was a snowglobe and it had fallen and shattered.
this morning i heard myself say something like “my snowglobe just fell to the floor and shattered” and as soon as i heard the words come out i had this weird feeling that really wanted to be deja vu.
years old metaphor becomes reality. the snowglobe in question was just “won” for me by my cureboy on our very first vacation alone in our whole decade together.
my bestie assured me this was not a bad omen.
luckily i am not very superstitious, just a little stitious.
in other news…i’m working on seeing and accepting the changes in my life, my world, the people around me and the world at large. i must say, sometimes my ego becomes me. somehow i manage to be just about the most self-absorbed, vain, selfish bitch while still actually being kind, generous and helpful…well i try very hard to be. maybe to make up for living in my own head so very much.
yesterday i was driving through this lovely little town i now call home and the beauty and poetry of the season overwhelmed me in the best way. i hate that fall is so short but do we not long for summer because the warmth is so rare? would the grey sky falling behind the colored and falling leaves be beautiful everyday if fall never ended? so it is in the transition, the change, the death that we truly prepare for growth, fresh starts and all that awaits us.
well fuck, someone slap me with an original thought already.
oh, i accidentally deleted my book.
so that sucks.
“if you don’t expect to much from me, you won’t be let down”