once more…with feeling

by kaleidegirl

seven years ago i set out to be a professional photographer. part of me was hoping to be done with retail/customer service/waiting tables etc. and have an actual career. a bigger part of me that i didn’t know how to acknowledge was dreaming, in a good way. i did a few weddings and my simple work was liked and appreciated. i’ve done other things since then but my ability to do any kind of work is so limited. i’m basically just as physically disabled as i am mentally and emotionally. my knee is killing me from a pretty short but sweet photo shoot yesterday. i rested all day afterward. (all this resting is making me batty)

thanks to my husband and his support, especially financially, i am able to fully realize a dream i’ve had since i was a child but always assumed was ridiculous. i never really believed i could do anything good or useful or have a real life and career. i was raised to fail.

that little girl has had a pep talk, she’s more optimistic now.

i don’t need to make gobs of money and have photos published or anything like that. i just want to take good photos and capture important memories. if the above things happen, well that’s fucking awesome. what i really want is to never hear someone say they had to skip photos at their wedding, or they just had a family member snap a few cuz they couldn’t afford it. i don’t want to hear anyone else say they couldn’t afford school photos for their kids. you get where i’m going here i hope.

my close friends call me the documenter of life. i take pride in that. i really do try to get all the good shots at family events. i admit i got a bit grumpy about missing all the fun and left my camera at home a couple times but i’m trying to find a happy medium. i want to be part of the life i am documenting.

so i’m trying again to have a “business” in the business of following a dream i never allowed myself to really have and help people along the way.

i’m getting help already. people standing in so i can test my in home studio set up, one family i absolutely adore taking the time to come over for a maternity shoot so i could get more practice in,one great friend got me a truly wonderful and beyond helpful tool for all this as an xmas gift; my Lightroom software, my husband is showing his full support by buying what he can to help me have better equipment, another friend is going to build my website and all of my photographer friends are freely helping me with advice when i need it.

so thank you to all of you supporting me.

if you want to do more, book a shoot with me, it will probably be free unless you want to tip me. for the next year any money i do happen to get paid or am given for my services in any way will go towards better equipment and props and such, hopefully new camera so my current beast can back it up.

in other news, lets hope i can avoid ANY surgeries this year!!