i have been noticing and appreciating the stability in my current relationship. seems like a simple statement but let me explain.
every relationship i have been in, including this one, there was always some point or more where i thought, worried, or was certain it would never last. love has never been a real issue, i always made my plans to leave when the love was gone. what i’m talking about are all the “what ifs” that happen in relationships, no matter your age. what if “insert issue here” tears us apart. what if i can’t tolerate “insert issue here” for very much longer. occasionally there was, what if i’m not good enough and i am replaced. my jealousy has usually just been a surface issue. i’m just naturally insecure. these are just examples but something has always had me uncertain about the future of a relationship.
for the first time ever i am certain that i have a solid marriage and any obstacle that threatens it, well it won’t really be a threat, we know we can get through anything. this stability and certainty is so freeing. one less huge thing hanging over me like a dark cloud. is our marriage perfect? hell no. i just know it is basically forever. i’ve never felt that before with anyone, not even Chris until recently. i don’t know how or why i came to this realization. i can’t even be sure when. i just know i feel it to my very core.
we are very fortunate to have each other.
i want to be sure i never take this for granted.