writing again?

by kaleidegirl

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Non-specifically permanently damaged

I learned how my lungs work this year
When I learned that they actually don’t
(they say my heart is fine)
The year is ending with an autumn winter
Far too fast, not enough time
(they must not be looking at mine)
Holidays descending as i
Try to keep breathing
(it was never so hard before)
The year is ending soon
And I’ll be wearing my tiara at the close
To remind me of the girl I’m trying
Not to lose
Maybe next year will be better
(he keeps saying it as if willing it true)
I’m struggling to hold this frail body together
For you and you and for you too

 

“if you see me running…”

I would always joke about how I hated to run
(what a horrible thing to invite a friend)
The truth was it made me choke
I was sure I was just weak and I would dismiss
That fighting to breathe as I watched the lingering smoke
Bad habits and ignorance
(maybe just passive stubbornness)
As it turns out the blames falls heavily
On genetics and heredity

 

 

Never knew love

I finally felt your love so unexpectedly
When I heard you cry quietly
Lying so very close to me
I felt your love the first time
You really thought you just might
Lose me forever
That love felt just divine despite the heavy guilt
Pressing down on me
How dare I feel love in your pain…
But how was I to know what to do
With a feeling so strange and new
Now things will never be the same
I was so sure
That feeling of love would remain
I was so very wrong
Because that blissful and warm feeling I felt
Love
Feels once again gone

 

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