so much time so little to do…i mean…

by kaleidegirl

i don’t even know where to begin.

i have lists and notes all over. i keep my journal by me most of the day and at night. my memory is worsening. so much so that it really scares me. i have lost so much already. as in so much memory and cognitive function in general. this blog will be a bit disjointed? i dunno the right word. it will be all over the place. i am juggling all of my internet stuff trying to get things done and catch up on my social media.

wow.

i just did ALL THE THINGS and i am not the slightest bit tired. i had to make myself stop doing things. i called and left a message for my shrink about going up on the new med early because if it is helping me sleep better already maybe the next dose will help me sleep all the way through the night and maybe it will help with this mania. it has to be my mania really acting up.

heard back from my shrink. well, her office. she gave the all clear to go up to 10 on the new med. i have high hopes for a full nights sleep and a less manic day tomorrow. we shall see. i have done so much today. i still have a few things i wanted to take care of but i am going to try very hard to just chill some more. just finish up my online stuff and take a good relaxing shower.

it has been a strange week. i don’t think i can even explain because so many details are lost somewhere.

i think this not being able to leave the house thing is really getting to me. not from being home so much but from having no choice but to be home.

i feel bad for my pup. she has got to be so bored and lonely with me being so busy. i keep stopping to pet her and love on her but i know she wants me to just sit the fuck down so she can cuddle me. getting another dog to keep her company is NOT going to happen so i need to work on this. i just get caught up.

i’m hoping to hear from my pulmonary specialist about a weird breathing thing going on. i’ve been getting short of breath much easier than i am used to but my O2 levels are well above safe zone.

yeah.

i need to go do this shower and fucking chill thing. maybe Chris will go get the chartreuse so i can have a cup of cocoa. mmmmm.

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