i’d rather be putting on make up

by kaleidegirl

i was going to take a break from making hair and just try to relax but i clearly need to take a break from everything else.

yesterday i didn’t really know what day it was. i kept thinking it was just a regular boring Saturday. the only difference being that it was boring because of my physical limitations not just my guy wanting to stay home. i should have said fuck it and gone out and done more when i could have. i knew it then and i regret it now. i’m not just missing out on things, i’m missing out on people. cheering them on and celebrating birthdays and going to game nights. it might be easier to be trapped behind this screen if it was new. not the same shit i’ve been doing for years now.

i need to be doing something. anything. so i will focus even more on getting healthy. working out more. making more hair to sell and spending less time and money online. i have hobbies now and i need to be enjoying them.

i need to be living.