keep having birthdays, so many birthdays…

by kaleidegirl

my daughter is 21 today. well she will be at 6:45 pm.

i recently learned that she hates this picture but i love it cuz it shows how much fun she is. she will just always make you laugh without even trying.



me and my girl. these were the best baby moments…


i should feel really old and all kinds of other things but really i just want to see her today and celebrate in whatever way i can, the fact that she exists. this is the single most important wonderful day of my life every year.

her birthday parties were the best…


we did the birthday thing with her on Monday. dinner, gifts, cake. just the four of us. it has become family tradition to do dinner, gifts and cake (homemade) for birthdays and when she became too old for big parties at the park we started celebrating her day the same way. she requested stir-fry and strawberry shortcake. i did my best to make a cake version and she loved it. the cake making caused a lot of stress but was totally worth it. i insisted that i still see her on her actual birthday because i just couldn’t not see her today. so we made plans to get breakfast. something we used to do somewhat on the regular when my health was better. last night she says she’s been getting stuck at work til 3 or 4 am and she will probably be grumpy. i told her we could meet up later than planned and well, we are just winging it at this point. i told her it was ok if she didn’t want to go. i know how she likes and needs her sleep. i will see her today though, somehow. i have an appt with my psych dr at 1:30 so i plan to stop and see her on my way if we don’t do breakfast. even if i didn’t have the appt i would drive out there just to see her on her birthday.

today is a big fucking deal. not just because she is 21. but because it is the day my daughter came into the world and into my life and changed it forever.

there aren’t enough words for today.

i love you my darling, darling daughter. ❤

more pictures just because.

me and my Moon Pie…


Mary and dad a long time ago…


Mary and her “bonus” dad…seems like a long time ago