fix all the problems that you made up in your own head

by kaleidegirl

i went through a bit of a set back this past week but i’m back to where i was for the most part. i’m recovering at an amazing rate and it is so nice really, to be getting back to a point where my life can be something more like normal.

my mind has been so overly focused on all of this transplant business. i applied for help with a fundraiser. i hate it but we will need the help and this .org exists just for this purpose. i have great friends willing to volunteer which is so wonderful. i am so very fortunate. i feel so loved and wanted. i never would have thought this unremarkable me would be worth saving.

i don’t want to jinx myself but i think i may be back to sleeping. i was real anxious last night for some reason and took my new emergency anxiety med and it worked like a charm and i think also helped me with my sleep. i woke up around 4ish but then fell back to sleep til 630ish and don’t even remember my guy kissing me goodbye. i know he did because he always does but i was OUT. i think getting better sleep will help tremendously. i did wake up with a bit of a headache like i have been but it has subsided quite a bit even without me taking anything. i’m hoping i just need to get used to sleeping on dreads again. it always takes a couple nights to adjust to that. i am thrilled to have hair again.

i’m back to making pies. i can’t actually bake them myself, well i can’t put them in the oven or be at the oven to check them but my guy is good at that and kind enough to help with it. i have been making pies for the delivery guys that bring my oxygen. well the one that has gone above and beyond to make sure i have what i need and is the most knowledgeable. he really liked the dutch apple pie i made him and i asked what else he liked and he said blueberry so i am making a couple of those tonight. one for him and one for us because it is actually healthy enough for me to eat. which is awesome because i love blueberries and have been wanting to make one. normally i’m not a fan of actually eating pie but there are certain ones i like to have at least one small piece of. is it weird that i make pies for the oxygen delivery guy? i feel like its good to keep the people happy that bring me my life saving oxygen.